Black Love Chat – Meet Darien and Mariah

Give us a brief introduction into you both:

Our names are Darien and Mariah Peterson and we met in college at Cal State University, Northridge back in 2010. We both stayed in the freshman dorms, he was on the 4th floor and I was on the 3rd. I, Mariah, had recently gotten out of a relationship, and I was crying at the pool with a friend of mine. Darien and his friend saw us, Darien comforted me and we’ve been friends since. We then became official in 2013. So we’ve been together for 9 years in February 2022 and married for 5 in June.

What are typical year one challenges you experienced?

Money was one of the main challenges we experienced in the first year. We moved a little faster than normal because we were like best friends for 3 years before getting together. So still being students at the time and working minimum wage, we struggled a lot of the time, which made it challenging for us to stay on the same page in our relationship.

What did you learn from those challenges?

We would say we learned to be more patient with one another and to listen to each other’s needs. Whether that was emotional, spiritually, sexually; you can get so caught up in all the challenges you are facing in a relationship, and get distracted by money, or outside influences, you can forget to ask your partner what they need. Also, being more accepting of where that person was at in life and not rushing them into becoming the person who they’re trying to be. Overall, be patient with each other.. we’re all growing and learning new things about each other and even ourselves everyday.

What is something you wish you had known before getting into your relationship either about yourself or your partner? 

We wish we would have understood early on that as people grow older, you change overtime. People don’t stay the same. And in a relationship, you have to be willing to go through those changes together. Through thick and thin, through the personal battles, or the issues you gave together, neither one is perfect. And if that’s your muse, your soulmate, you’ll work it out and continue to grow together.

What advice would you give that you believe is most important for any couple in their first year of the relationship?

What works for your relationship, is what works for you. There will always be someone telling you how you’re supposed to be and what to do when you’re married. But honestly, there’s no rule book. What may work for one, may not work for the other. There’s all these preconceived ideas of what a relationship should be like. But whatever worked for you before, keep that. There’s no reason for you to change.