Black Love Chat – Meet Raychel and Corey

Give us a brief introduction into you both:

We are Raychel “Raye” Smith and Corey McWhinnie. Corey works as a Hospital Administrator. Raye works in TV and Film Production. You can find us on our instagram page Notorious_LUV. We met at a birthday dinner for one of our acquaintances. We established our relationship in May 2020 and have been together for a little over 1.5 years.

What are typical year one challenges you experienced?

First, we would say dating during a pandemic. When we fell in love, we fell fast and hard. The pandemic gave an unlimited amount of time to learn each other quickly, without any interference, and we may  have taken too much of an advantage. Before we knew it, we looked up and year past, and we  realized that we took very little time for ourselves and nor spent much time outside of each  other 

Additionally, before getting together, we both were single for quite some time. Once we decided that we  were going to be in a relationship, we had to learn the value of compromise. Prior to the establishment of our relationship, we had individual lives and catered to our own needs. We quickly learned to be considerate of each other and how to honor our exclusivity.  

What did you learn from those challenges?

We learned to be gracious toward each other. Because we have found each other’s presence valuable, there’s absolutely no problem with us giving each other as much grace as we need to  be the greatest we can be.  Also, we’ve learned that every word of criticism isn’t negative. We try to find the constructive pieces in our hard conversations and see how we can build and grow from them.  We’ve learned to speak ONLY peaceably to each other, despite how tough the conversation(s)  may be.  

What is something you wish you had known before getting into your relationship either about yourself or your partner? 

Corey: Before getting in a relationship, I would like to have been more secure in my purpose. Also, I  wish I would’ve known how long it takes Raye to get ready. 

Raychel: I’m not sure if there’s anything I wish I would have known, but I definitely wish that I would  have been better prepared entering into a relationship. Prior to us making it official, I was very content with  myself. The idea of having a partner was nice, but If it happened or not, I was totally fine by myself. Once we established our relationship, I quickly went from single and selfish to being more considerate and inclusive of my partner’s wants and needs.  

What advice would you give that you believe is most important for any couple in their first year of the relationship?

No matter how new and fresh the relationship may be, be prepared to put in work. Be compromising & open. Remember, your partner came into the relationship as an individual with their own life. Be gracious, and allow them space to evolve within the relationship! Be a good communicator – say what you mean and mean what you say!