Black Love Chat with Newlyweds Joseph & Phoenicia

Black love is everything for The Official Black Magazine, and we love to see it. I had the fantastic opportunity to speak with newlyweds Joseph and Phoenicia. I saw their beautiful love story unfold on social media with striking visuals from their wedding. I immediately had to reach out to Phoenicia via Instagram @dressmeprettystyle to tell their story to start this series for 2023.

It’s a beautiful love story, and I’m excited for you to go on it as you read how they met in the Air Force Reserves to their official first date taking place at Disneyland. I don’t think Hallmark could have written a better love story.

1. Phoenicia, please tell me about how you and your husband met. Take us back to that first date.

Joseph and I met while serving in the Air Force Reserves! Joseph had just finished his active duty tour and we happened to join the reserves at the same time. We started talking, noticed we had a lot in common, and became really good friends! We decided to carpool to and from San Diego and our friendship flourished into the amazing relationship we have today. We were friends for a couple of years before we actually started dating.

Our first official date was Disneyland for the holidays! Disney was a huge part of both of our childhoods and it is great to be able to revisit that connection time and time again every time we find ourselves at Disneyland.

2. How long were you both together before getting engaged? And long have you both been together in total?

Joseph and I have been together for about five years now! We were together three years before getting engaged. Joseph proposed in Paris, France! Joseph planned an amazing, romantic proposal in a private venue with the Eiffel Tower right in front of us. Red roses and rose petals were scattered creating a path to a neon sign that read, “ Will You Marry Me? A photographer also showed up wearing a large hat and sunglasses.

Joseph then asked me if I was ready for my second surprise. The photographer took off their hat and sunglasses and I saw that the photographer was actually my best friend, Charlotte! Charlotte and I have been best friends since 4th grade. It was amazing that my best friend was a part of this special moment and I was brought to tears knowing that Joseph made all of this happen.

I remember thinking how lucky I am, that this man loves me so much, and that I can’t wait to just spend the rest of my life with him!

3. What let you both know that you were the right one for each in terms of getting married?

Our friendship plays a big role in our relationship. We always talk about the fact that we were friends first for so long not only makes us closer but helped us learn about what type of people we were. once we started dating we knew everything was genuine, there were no surprises or shocking facts to find out because we already knew so much about each other.

4. How was the whole process of planning the wedding to the day of?

Joseph here! Lucky for me, Phoenicia already had most of the wedding planned before I proposed! We always talked about our future together, but I was blown away to see how much

Phoenicia prepared for our wedding. Literally the night that I proposed to her, Phoenicia showed me that she had already picked our top potential venues, locked in a photographer, and selected a DJ.

Overall, the planning was very stress free (and I promise Phoenicia can attest to this sentiment)! Part of what kept us connected was our choreographed dance that we planned for our first dance. We took dance lessons for a few months and they ended up serving a dual purpose for us: a mini date night and a therapeutic reprieve as the weeks became busier leading up to our wedding.

5. As newlyweds what advice would you give to any couple that’s ready to tie the knot?

The wedding is a celebration dedicated to how much you love each other. Don’t focus on the napkins being folded the right way or the flowers being perfectly set up.

On our wedding day, Joseph and I made it our priority to stay with each other the whole night, which we did! I’ve been told by so many couples that they did not get an opportunity to eat at their own weddings because of how fast it flew by. Joseph and I ensured that we spent our entire wedding together and even took some time to step away just to take it all in. We made it a point to eat our dinner and engage with all our guests at our own pace to ensure we enjoyed the night. Don’t forget that you should enjoy every aspect of your wedding just as your guests do!

6. Is there anything you wish you knew prior to getting engaged or married?

If you are changing your last name, get to the social security office early because when I showed up there was a long line!

7. Some people do couples/marriage counseling as preparation, was that something you both did? If not was there anything you both felt was important to discuss prior to getting married?

We are both big fans of counseling! Joseph and I had mentors that supported us and we learned that a very important aspect of any relationship is communication. We made it a point that we were a team throughout our relationship. We have learned that through teamwork and communication, we can face anything head on!

8. As newlyweds is there something you have learned immediately within this first year of marriage?

Nothing changed for us when we got married. We’ve always been best friends and it’s a big part of our relationship. If there is anything that we learned, it would be that it is possible to still be best friends after getting married. Everyday feels like a new adventure together and we love it!

9. We love Black Love! Why is Black Love so important for us to see as a community to you both?

We love learning new things about each other such as how we grew up and how we were raised. It’s always so interesting to see the things we have in common from our childhood, as well as other things that we discover are different. We both have such a good combination of similarities and differences, that it’s fun to develop our own new traditions that are a reflection of the best of both of us.

10. What’s your love language and what’s his love language?

My love language is time spent! I love a fun date night or even a walk in the park with our dog, as long as we are doing something together. Joseph’s love language is helping out and doing nice things for me, whether that means running an errand for me or surprising me with dinner because I was busy at school.

11. How do you keep your relationship and marriage fresh?

Joseph and I always make time for each other. We make sure that spending time with each other is just as important as that work meeting or dental appointment. We’ve actually synced our calendars and that has made planning time for each other a piece of cake.

12. Lastly, how do you maintain a positive and healthy communication with one another even when the other is upset or you have to have those uncomfortable conversations?

There really isn’t a conversation that we won’t have between the both of us because we are so open with each other already. When you are practiced in having tough conversations, you learn how to communicate in a healthy way that no longer makes those conversations awkward.

Is there anything else you would love to leave readers with?

Thank you taking the time to hear our story! We hope our story brings inspiration for those in new and old relationships!

Joseph here again! I am very proud of Phoenicia’s academic and professional accomplishments, as well as her ability to express herself through fashion! Phoenicia is working on her master’s degree, has a fruitful career in science, and still finds the time to share outfits on her Instagram @dressmeprettystyle